Child support of a different kind: Helping kids cope with divorce

Good parents in California and beyond want what is best for their children. Sometimes, that means they must make decisions in their children's best interests, even if their children will not like the decisions they've made. In some situations, such as divorce, children may need reminding that parents do what they do because they love their kids.

Many children blame themselves for their parents' divorce. Therefore, it's crucial to their well-beings that parents tell their children they are not to blame for adult marital problems. It's also a good idea for parents to let children know they are there, 24/7, to support them. Children may feel as though they're riding emotional roller coasters when their parents divorce; however, parents can be proactive to help them adapt to their new lifestyles.

Besides telling children they are loved, keeping lines of communication wide open can helps kids keep stress to a minimum. If they know they can express their thoughts, and will not be reprimanded for sharing those thoughts, they will be more likely to overcome any obstacles that arise. If the other parent causes hurt feelings for children, such as by not showing up for visits or trying to pit children against their at-home parent, it's typically best if the parent in question takes practical steps to resolve the situation rather than sweep it under the rug.

It's not that uncommon for children to hear parents argue. However, divorced parents will help their children fare better if they keep their divorce-related disagreements out of children's earshot. If a California parent is having trouble resolving a particular legal issue, he or she can seek guidance from an experienced family law attorney.

Source:, "11 Rules for Helping Your Child Deal With Divorce", Holly St. Lifer, Accessed on March 6, 2018

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